Just logged onto myspace for the first time in a while. Got a message from Big Frank letting me know that Frankie's engaged. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I knew this was going to happen soon, and I knew it would feel just like this, a punch in the stomach. I'll be over it in a minute, but I'm kind of freaking out right now.

home

It sounds so good.

"I'll save half the world, he decided. The other half can burn away to nothing."

-lowboy by john wray

The book I'm reading now. F-ing brilliant.

sometimes i wonder

about what happens to old boyfriends.

where do they go? what do they do? are they happier now? have they figured out their issues they way I've figured out mine?

i hope so. most of them seemed pretty lost.

anemia

I developed a harmless crush on a boy. His hair is prematurely gray. He walked me to the elevator like a gentleman and bit me on the neck. Tomorrow he will go away, which is probably for the best.

a year

A lot has happened this past year, a lot of it bad. It was definitely the most difficult year of my life, for many reasons that I don't wish to rehash. But here I am. I have a job that makes me feel good. I can't tell you how much that job has changed my life. I'm excited everyday. Everyday I get to talk to fifty or more people and hear their stories. I'm making a difference, small as it may seem. And then there's Ross. I met him a year ago today, and I never would have guessed that he'd become one of my best friends and one of the most important people in my life. We have a connection that's so different than anything I've ever experienced. I don't know...I'm just so grateful to have him in my life. He bought my cat a valentines day present because he wants to be better friends with him. That's fucking cute. Anyway, I've just been thinking about the past year and the things that got me through it. I couldn't have done it without RENEE, tom, and ross. Those are 3 people who I hope to have in my life in some form for a very long time. Friends are everything and I have good ones. And thank you, TCE, for giving me something to work for.