Tuesday, April 29, 2008
parasite
I have serious issues about boys and they all stem from Frankie. He infects every aspect of my life. Everytime I turn around, he's there. I broke things off with Ross. Fuck. It was both the easiest and hardest breakup I've ever had. It was easy because he was so sweet and understanding about the whole thing. It was hard because I really don't want to stop seeing him and I feel like at a different time we could have had a nice little thing going. He's a great guy and I miss him already. If it wasn't for Frankie, I wouldn't have done this. I wouldn't be fucked up about guys. I wouldn't push people away for fear of getting close. I know I shouldn't blame someone else for my issues, but seriously...Frankie fucked me up. And he won't go away. It's just so strange to think that he's the same guy I fell in love with when I was sixteen. I don't see that person in him at all anymore. But I guess I'm not the person I was then either.
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:( I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been exactly where you are now. It hurts but you are doing the right thing, otherwise you'll never be able to heal from Frankie. You need some time for yourself and to figure shit out and you know if Ross is still around I'm sure he'd be available for you. My suggestion is surround yourself in friends and do whatever the hell you want to do. Sooner than you'll know you'll have twice the amount of friends you had before and you'll be having so much fun. There might be some lonely times, but you will be fine. :)You will know when you're ready again. We all love you very much, never forget that!! Good times are ahead! don't worry!
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